Saving Stan
by Craig-DiMaggio
Summary: Wendy kidnaps Stan and the boys must save him
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Blue Moon and New Moon

My name is Stan Marsh, I have black hair and blue eyes, I was born in Colorado and I am fifteen years old, I love listening to Indie music and I think that Twilight totally sucks ass, but I guess that's enough for introductions right now. I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw my tired blue eyes looking back at me, I didn't get much sleep last night, and Wendy kept IM'ing me asking me to go out with her again. I looked at myself in the mirror again, maybe I should wear make-up, I thought. But no, I didn't want to be a plastic clone like everyone else.

"Stan hurry you're going to be late for school!" Mom called.

"Fine," I grumbled running my brush through my hair and grabbing my back pack before running out the door. While I was walking to school I bumped into the infamous Wendy.

"Hey," She said in that annoying squeaky voice of hers.

"Hi," I said trying to be polite but in my head I was thinking go away you freak bitch.

"Wanna come to my place tonight?" She asked running her short fat tongue over her bottom lip trying to look sexy.

"Uh I can't," I said.

"Why not?" She demanded placing her turtley hands on her size twenty hips, well her hands were a little above her hips but still.

"I have to watch my sister," I lied.

"Ooh I know, we can have a threesome!" She exclaimed.

"Sorry Wendy but the answer is still no," I said before turning to walk off, I was glad Wendy didn't chase after me like she did last time. Last time when she chased after me, she latched on to me and started humping my leg; I had to see a shrink after that. I then pulled out my mobile and started to call Kyle, I let it ring for a few minutes but when he didn't pick up I slammed it closed in defeat, he only answered his cell every once in a blue moon.

"Hey Stan," I heard the ugly voice of Wendy say.

"What?" I asked trying not to let my irritation show.

"Do you want to go see New Moon with me when it comes out?" She asked in a sick sweet tone moving closer to me.

"Hell no," I replied backing up.

"Oh come on it will be fun and besides they are all so hot!" She exclaimed.

"No they're not and I don't want to go!" I said not caring if my irritation showed or not.

"Fine you're just a big bully!" Wendy cried out and she ran off in the other direction, I laughed as I saw her get smaller and smaller and I continued my journey to school.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi. My name is Kenny McCormick. I'm a blonde haired guy with blue eyes which everyone keeps bugging me about. That's enough with introductions for now.

"Kenny, you stupid fool! Where did you put my costume?" Kyle yelled, exploring for his kitty cat costume for Halloween. God knows why he wanted to be a kitty cat for Halloween.

"I gave it back," I responded.

"Where did you put it?"

I didn't say anything for a moment, trying to prevent him from finding out that Wendy stole it to try to get all seductive for Stan, her lover, on Halloween. By the way, Wendy is this annoying girl.

Kyle stopped looking for his costume and looked at me.

"You gave it to Wendy, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't! I was just hiding it from you but then Wendy crept through my bedroom window and stole it!"

Kyle rolled his eyes, "Wendy's all the way in Michigan,"

"She can fly!" I said, "I saw her,"

"Wendy's too fat to fly," Kyle argued.

I hit my forehead, "Whatever, maybe I'm crazy,"

Kyle looked at his phone and was reading a text message which was obviously from Stan. He talked to that guy a lot.

Kyle gasped, "Either you hacked Stan's number or you're not crazy,"

I looked at Kyle, wondering what he meant.

"Wendy is stalking him, like crazy!"

"I wonder how Judy's gonna react,"

"We gotta save him!"

"Kyle, you idiot, we're not going all the way across the US just to kill Wendy." I said

Kyle looked at me, smiling evilly, "I wasn't thinking of that but okay!"

"We're not going to kill her! Stan will handle it himself,"

"Fine," Kyle crossed his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi I am Kyle, I am fifteen years old and I was born in Colorado, I have red hair and eyes and the hottest body ever, my best friend is Stan and everyone wants me, well that's enough of my introduction.

"Now what will I be since someone stole my kitty cat Halloween costume?" I asked all bummed out resting my chin in my hands.

"I don't know,"

As soon as those words left his mouth I got a great idea, I could be Moby Dick for Halloween! No one would ever even dream of being Moby Dick!

"You know we should invite Stan here for a big Halloween bash!" I exclaimed.

"And how would he get here genius?" Kenny asked snapping his mobile open and shut restlessly.

"He can ride on Wendy's back!" I exclaimed jumping up and down like a cricket.

"Stop jumping or I'll spank you," Kenny said eyeing me with evil.

"Fine," I whined plopping down on the bed and crossing my stick arms. A few minutes later I stood up and started checking myself out in the mirror, I did this about three hours daily.

"You're so sexy," I winked at my reflection flexing my non-existent muscles. I then started kissing my reflection in the mirror.

"Get over yourself," Kenny said rolling his eyes.

"You're just jealous because you're not as hot as me!" I shot back; he just ignored me and got up to grab a beer.

"So did you like that slop that the creepy old lady fixed for us?" Kenny asked coming back into the room and popping the top on his beer.

"No way dude, everything was purple," I replied. I nearly peed myself when I got a message from Stan on my mobile. It read: Wendy has me locked in her closet she might take my mobile soon so if I don't reply that's why, Love, Stan.

"Oh holy mother of Jesus on a pony!" I exclaimed.

"What is it?"

"Wendy has Stan trapped in her closet!"

A/N: The chapters will get longer as the story goes on, right now it's just going through introductions.

Judy is a made up character, Stan's new girlfriend.

Feel free to suggest an O/C character if you like.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello, I am Token Black and I am fifteen years of age, I was born and raised in Colorado and I have dark brown hair and brown eyes. I like classical music and orange juice, the only thing I can't stand is baby powder, it is so incomprehensible, I just can't fathom it.

"What are we going to do?" Kyle screeched out breaking into my thoughts of introductions, Kenny and he had been rambling on and on all afternoon but I just ignored them, they never talked about anything interesting anyways.

"What are you talking about?" I asked running my hand through my hair.

"Stan is trapped in Wendy's closet!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Oh," I muttered not really caring.

"Well tell me what to do!" He whined on the verge of tears.

"He'll be fine," I said.

"Naw he's probably already dead," Kenny said being the pessimist that he is.

"No he's not!"

"Well we can't just go all the way to Michigan to save him," I said trying to be logical.

"Why not!" Kyle exploded indignantly.

"Because we don't have enough money to go all the way up there," I said unperturbed. Just then, I heard a slam against my window and Wendy came rolling into the room.

"What are you doing in here?" Kyle demanded with his eyes narrowed.

"I am having a party and you guys are invited," She said smiling mischievously handing us a purple invitation.

"If we go do we get Stan back?" Kyle asked.

"Oh sure, sure," Wendy said waving her pudgy hand around. When no one said anything, Wendy plopped down on one of the beds and started making herself at home.

"Who said you could stay here?" Kyle asked raising an eyebrow.

"I'll do whatever I want," Wendy replied picking up the remote. I groaned when I saw that she had turned it to that new soap opera, Mama Drama I think it's called.

"I just love this show," Wendy said staring at the screen like she was being enthralled by it.

"Oh Ted, I am so sorry you just know I love Millicent more," Claire whispered to the man with blond hair and toned muscles on the TV screen.

"My own mother, Claire, how could you?" Ted said in a disconsolate voice to the young red-haired woman.

"I don't want to watch this garbage," I said turning the TV off.

"Hey I was watching that too!" Kyle said furrowing his eyebrows together.

"Whatever," I said, I really didn't want to watch Mama Drama.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi I am Tweek from Colorado, I am fifteen years old and I am in love with coffee! Well I think I am but I never really know, my mind changes all the time I guess I am kind of a John Kerry when it comes to making up my mind.

"So should we go to Wendy's party?" Kenny asked after Wendy had conked out after the episode of Mama Drama.

"If it means saving Stan then I'm going," Kyle said trying to put on the whole brave warrior façade but I could see that he was just as scared as the rest of us.

"You guys do whatever, I am going to just stay here," Token said flipping the TV to the cooking channel.

"No you have to come with us, I mean we're all in this together," Kyle said.

"I-I don't want to go," I said with fear in my voice, I guess you could say I'm kind of a chicken but I really hate scary stuff, I mean it's just too scary!

"It will be fine," Kenny said patting my back trying to console me.

"What if Wendy tries to eat me! What if she hacks me up into a million pieces and makes Tweek stew out of me!" I exclaimed rambling on about all the bad things Wendy might do to me.

"The worst she could do is sit on you and suffocate you." Kyle said, like that would really calm my nerves.

"I never thought my death would come to me from sitting under a girl bigger than Moby Dick!"

"Just relax she might not even sit on you," Token said getting slightly annoyed that we were taking his attention way from his show.

"But what if she does and I suffocate and die forever under her cottage cheese fat?" I whined.

"If you don't be quiet I'll sit on you," Kenny said, I guess he was getting annoyed with me too, him and Token sure did get annoyed easily. I guess that's why Kyle was my best friend out of the three of them, he put up with all my paranoia shit.

"What if she-,"

"She isn't going to do anything so shut up already!" Kenny and Token yelled in unison angrily.

"Fine if I die then it will be very bad for me!" I said thinking of the only mean thing I could think of to say before walking into the bathroom to let out the pee that they had scared out of me by yelling like that!


End file.
